Interesting Read

The following is an interesting read if you would like to know more about Chinese birth mothers and why/how so many girls are abandoned in China:

http://tinyurl.com/yamee7

I have been reading Wanting a Daughter, Needing a Son in an effort to try to understand how a mother could abandon a child. It’s hard reading to me though–too much like a bunch of research papers.

I don’t know if I agree with everything the author of the above link says about what we should tell our adopted children, but it is eye-opening for me in some ways.

Still praying for Rachel and her birth mother,

Kim

Adoption Story/Timeline

I said a while back that I would share the story of how we came to the decision to adopt from China.

It started over 10 years ago. I was working as a nurse at a dialysis clinic. One morning one of my co-workers, Liz Woodard, came in talking about a program she had seen on tv about girls in China–about how many of them are abandoned. She said that she might like to adopt a daughter from China someday after seeing that program. I though to myself, “I would like to do that, too.”

God kept this seed planted in my heart alive over the years with many little reminders. One that I remember vividly was shortly after our second son, Caleb, was born. I was very sick with mastitis and was at the doctor’s office. Tommy was working in Columbus 30 minutes away and was unable to come home. So I had called my mom to leave work to keep Eli and Caleb. As I sat in the doctor’s office I had a little pity party, “I’m aching all over. I have a 104 degree fever. And I have to take myself to the doctor.” I was very upset and trying unsuccessfully to hold back the tears. (I also was only a week or two postpartum, so I’m sure that all the hormonal stuff didn’t help me emotionally.) To distract myself I picked up a parenting magazine, and I found an article about a mother who adopted a daughter from China. As I looked at the photos of this mother and daughter, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that something bigger is going on here. I am HERE TODAY to see this article–to be reminded of that seed that God planted years before. It really is hard to describe, but I distinctly remember the feeling that I had.

Fastforward to Titus’ birth–I had always thought in the back of my mind that I would like to have three sons and then a daughter. When Titus, our third son, was born in July 2003, Tommy laughs because my response was in a humdrum tone of voice, “Oh, another boy.” I REALLY was not disappointed. It’s just that if it was a girl that would have been something new and different. But another boy–I know how to do boys. In the delivery room I did think to myself, “God gave me my three boys. Now we can adopt our daughter from China.”

Over all these years I would mention to Tommy that “We are going to adopt from China one day, right?” He never responded positively or negatively. Then around 2004, we were in a Bible class taught by our dear friend, Greg. He has a passion for helping others handle their money in a godly way, so that’s what the class was about. One Wednesday evening, Greg passed around a box of money and asked everyone to take some and use it to further God’s kingdom during the next week. It’s kind of strange, but I prayed more about what to do with my $12 more than I have ever prayed about any of the other $$ God has blessed us with over the years. After a day or two, I came to the realization that God wanted us to use this money to start our adoption fund. I told Tommy that I had an idea of what we needed to do with our money and that I was praying that God would show him the same. Well, we were babies at listening to God back then. So the following Wed. Tommy called me from work and said, “God’s not telling me anything. So you’re going to have to tell me. ” I told him. He said that he would think about it and pray about it.  That night with tears in his eyes Tommy shared with the class our decision to begin saving to adopt a daughter from China. He cried as he read the song by Steven Curtis Chapman “What Now?” (Read more about this on his Sept. 22nd post entitled “What Now?”)

This past summer some friends  of ours from church, Brad and Tatum, moved down the street from us. One afternoon Tatum and the kids came over to play. As Tatum and I were sitting in our backyard watching the kids, she asked me if we were still planning to adopt. We talked about adoption for a while because Tatum also has an interest in adoption. This conversation was God’s nudging to me that “It’s time.” It’s amazing to me to think back on it! God’s timing is perfect! I had planned to wait until early 2007 to begin. If we had done that, we would not be able to adopt from China because more than likely our dossier would not be logged-in before the new China adoption requirements went into effect in May 2007. We would not be able to adopt because I have been on antidepressants for the past 6 years.  Since we started when we did, our dossier will be there in plenty of time, and we will be grandfathered in under the old regulations. (At least that’s what our adoption agency understands to be true–PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!)

You never know what God’s going to do with those “casual” conversations you have throughout the day! After my conversation with Tatum, I began looking at different adoption agencies online. I found out that Bethany adoption agency was having an informational meeting on international adoption a few hours away from us at the end of Sept. We attended the meeting. And we prayed intensively over which adoption agency to use–Bethany or Lifeline. And we sent our application to Lifeline in Oct.

Before I post our adoption timeline, I want to share a story about our oldest son, Eli. About a year ago when Eli was 9, we were riding in the van when he asked me when we were going to adopt. (We have always told our boys that someday we would like to adopt.) I responded that I didn’t know and explained that it cost a lot of money that we would have to save up. Eli replied, “Well, if God wants it to happen, it will happen.” I just LOVE that boy!!

Adoption Timeline

1995–Kim has conversation at work about China adoption–1st seed is planted!

2004–Tommy and Kim make the decision to adopt

Sept. 2006–Attend Bethany information meeting on internation adoption  in Oxford

Oct. 15, 2006–Made decision to use Lifeline Children’s Services in Birmingham, AL

Oct. 24, 2006–Began home study with social worker at New Beginnings in Tupelo

Dec. 15, 2006–Home study complete and mailed to ICPC (Mississippi’s DHS)

Dec. 22, 2006–Home study mailed to CIS (immigration) in Metairie, LA from ICPC

Dec. 26, 2006–Home study received by CIS–the wait for approval begins

Whenever I think about my secret desire to have 3 sons and then a daughter, my mind goes back to all the years that I prayed about my husband and my children. I guess I was unusual in that I started praying daily for them when I was about 12 or 13. I have always wanted to be a wife and mother more than anything. I truly consider it my calling. This all reminds me of the following verse:

Psalm 37:4–”Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Merry Christmas, Rachel!

 

Rachel’s stocking is already waiting for her–for the time when she can spend Christmas with her Forever Family! We truly feel there is an empty place in our family until she is here with us.

This beautiful song is written by one of Third Day’s guitarist Brad Avery. He and his family are awaiting to bring home their “little China girl.”

Merry Christmas by Third Day

There’s a little girl trembling on a cold December morn

Crying for mama’s arms

At an orphanage just outside a little China town

Where the forgotten are

But half a world away I hang the stockings by the fire

And dream about the day when I can finally call you mine

It’s Christmas time again but you’re not home

Your family is here and yet you’re somewhere else alone

So tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in His arms

And tell you from my heart

I wish you Merry Christmas

As I hang the tinsel on the tree and watch the twinkling lights

I’m warmed by the fire’s glow

Outside the children tumble in a wonderland of white

And make angels in the snow

But half a world away you try your best to fight the tears

And hope that Heaven’s Angels come to carry you here

Christmas is the time we celebrate the Holy Child

And we celebrate His perfect gift of love

He came to Earth to give His life and prepare a place for us

So we could have a home with Him above

It’s Christmas time again and now you’re home

Your family is here so you will never be alone

So tonight before you go to sleep, I’ll hold you in my arms

And tell you from my heart

I’ll tell you from my heart

I wish you Merry Christmas

You can download this song free at this website:

http://play.rhapsody.com/thirdday/christmasofferings/merrychristmas

My Christmas wish is that everyone would take a moment on Christmas day to remember those children around the world who do not have families to hold them and love them on Christmas day.

Homestudy Completed!

Friday while I was on my way to Tupelo for a doctor’s appointment, our New Beginnings social worker, Lauri, called and said that our home study was completed. She Fed-Exed it to whatever state office that it has to go to. And I picked up our copies. So, hopefully, it will be on its way to CIS(immigration) sometime this week!

We’re lucky that we get to use the CIS office in Metairie, LA. Some offices have up to 90 day waits to receive approval. We’ve been told the Metairie office is 2-3 weeks. Pray, pray, pray that it will be soon.

I received a call from Karla, our Lifeline social worker, this past week. She said, “I have what is going to sound like bad news. But it is going to end up being good.” She told me that they just received word that China is changing their adoption requirements. These new requirements will not allow anyone treated for depression within the past two years to adopt. I’ve been treated for depression for 6 years now. Good news is that this will not take effect until May 2007. IF we get our dossier logged-in before May, we should be accepted under the old requirements. Karla is confident that we will be logged-in in plenty of time.  But this just makes me a little nervous that things will not work out. On the other hand, maybe God pushed us to start this process just in time.

enewscourier, Athens, AL – A miracle from China

enewscourier, Athens, AL – A miracle from China

The above link is a news story about a family in Alabama who adopted using our adoption agency, Lifeline. It’s a sweet story.

Last Tuesday we met with our new social worker, Lori,  at New Beginnings to review our home study and make any corrections. Our old social worker, Robbie, is expecting and has quit to stay home.  We really enjoyed our visit with Lori. She has a 2-year-old boy she adopted from Nepal and is now in the process of adopting a child from Guatamala. She gave us lots of good info.–for any of you adopting families, you can get a 40-60% adoption discount on airfare–that’s very good news! Also, Lori has a BEAUTIFUL Guatamalan baby doll in her office. She gave me the card of the lady who makes them–she makes them in many nationalities. I’m putting the Chinese baby doll on my wishlist! This lady who makes the dolls was a birth mother when she was young who gave up her child for adoption. Later, she found out that she could no longer have children, so she became an adoptive mother. What a neat story! Here’s her website for any of you adoptive parents who are interested:

www.preciousbabydoll.com

Well, now we’re waiting…After our corrected homestudy is edited, it will be sent to the State of Mississippi to be approved, and they will send it to CIS(Immigration Services). We are lucky that we get to use the CIS office in Metarie, LA because of our location. They are known to be speedy–giving approval within a couple of weeks of receiving the homestudy. So still hoping to send our dossier to China by the end of Dec. or more likely early January.

Keep praying for Rachel!