We were all tired, so we went to Subway next to our hotel to get some supper. I set Suhui in a chair nearby while we ordered. It was a very small subway, and the door was open to the outside. She kept blowing bubbles with her spit and then running outside to spit on the sidewalk. I sat her at the table and got her notebook and colors out to try to amuse her long enough to get some food. She comes up to the counter where we are ordering and marks on the counter with a crayon. I tell her “Bu” (no) and “No” and point to her notebook and tell her to only color on the notebook. She scribbles on the notebook for a few seconds and then runs up to the counter and scribbles on it. Tommy and I both are saying “Bu! No!” I wrestle the crayon from her hand. She runs to the table while I am putting her crayons up and grabs her colored pencils. Tommy takes them away from her. Then she starts throwing stuff, whatever she can get her hands on. So I grab her and tell Tommy we are going to the hotel room and he will have to bring the food there leaving him to pick up the various items Suhui has thrown. When I took her to the room, I put her on the bed and walked away because I was too mad. She cried and cried. When Tommy and Caleb got back with the food, I sat down and told her that we love her in Chinese and then tried to explain by demonstrating that she could not write on anything except paper.
I agree with Aimee in the comments that she is testing us to see if we will stick around even when she acts up. But we really feel at a loss as to how to handle this child.
The other frustrating thing is that when we try to help her with something she yells out wanting to do it herself. She can do an awful lot by herself. Then a little bit later she’s throwing a fit because she wants us to do the exact same thing for her. We know that this need to control is because she has lost control of everything in her life right now. But we still don’t know quite how to handle this. I love snuggling with her at naptime and bedtime, but she is even controlling then. If I don’t have my head right where she wants it, she uses her hands to turn it the way she wants it. If I don’t have my arm where she wants it, she moves it.
Something else that I want to share for any other moms out there who may feel this way just to let you know you’re not alone. I love, love, love that she’s a snuggler. But some times like this afternoon she calls out and needs to hug me tightly and kiss me literally every 15-30 seconds. I try to stop and spend some time loving on her when she gets like this. But it just seems like she can’t get enough. I can handle it okay except when I’m tired. Then I feel like I’m going to go berserk. I guess this is kind of like when you are nursing newborn, and you have so much contact with the baby you just don’t want anybody to touch you. I remember when I was nursing my babies I couldn’t even stand my cats sitting in my lap.
Okay, it’s bedtime here. Good-bye til tomorrow.